Friendship – A beautiful bond

It was the United States which started the tradition of ‘Friendship Day’ in 1935. The first Sunday of August every year was assigned to friendship. Other countries too followed suit and in India, we usually see school kids and college students happily celebrating this day. Friendship bands are a rage in India and even school kids sit patiently with skeins of wool of different hues, patiently weaving bands of friendship. The ones who have a large number of bands tied to their wrists strut about, proud to have so many friends.

Well, let us leave the ritual aside and move on to that beautiful bond called friendship. One’s tryst with friendship starts usually at school in fact as early as the nursery classes. Like first love, the first friend is also remembered long after the friendship has run its course.

“A friend in need is a friend indeed,” is perhaps the most clichéd quote on friendship and also perhaps the most accurate. Friendships are not just about having a gala time. When all is well, all your friends are there for you. The litmus test starts when you start going through bad times. The ‘fair-weather’ friends flee when conditions turns inclement. The “all-weather” types are your true pals. They may be unable to help you in the material sense but they are there to offer moral and emotional support.

A wealthy person loses his wealth, a business man runs a loss, a star student loses out on his grades, an employee loses his job – these are the occasions when many friends start deserting you. Even we may belong to this breed of friends, deserters in need. We expect the world from our buddies, but when our turn comes, we are reluctant to even be there for them. 

Moving on to another facet, jealousies and pettiness have no place in a friendship. Criticism by a friend should be constructive and we should be sporting enough to take it in our stride. This is aptly summed up in the following quotes on friendship:

“If it’s very painful for you to criticize your friends — you’re safe in doing it. But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that’s the time to hold your tongue.” – Alice Duer Miller

“Don’t believe your friends when they ask you to be honest with them. All they really want is to be maintained in the good opinion they have of themselves.” – Albert Camus

I believe one should be wary of ‘friends’ who overtly flatter or harshly criticise. The flatterers may want something from you and the critics may want to put you down and make you lose your self-confidence.

“A man is known by the company he keeps.”

“Fate chooses our relatives, we choose our friends.”

The kind of friends a person has, reflects what kind of a person she is. One has to be careful to stay away from bad influence. Being with mischief-mongers may seem like fun, but they may wreak havoc in one’s life. The virtues of our friends as well as their vices do influence us, so one should take care while forging friendships. 

Friendship however doesn’t mean that we cling on to others like parasites. Nobody likes such people, people will start avoiding you and you will soon be without friends.

Let me conclude with a short and simple rule of friendship- “To have a friend, be a friend.”

Author: Pratibha Shenoy (Bangaluru)