“I cried because I had no shoes and then I met a man who had no feet.” Anisha sulked as she walked into the stadium with her parents. She had still not forgiven her kid brother Anoop for upsetting her weekend plans. It was with great difficulty that she had convinced Papa to them out to the multiplex for a movie. Normally multiplex visits were reserved for vacations. However, two days ago Anoop had been selected for a dance programme as a replacement for another boy who had fallen ill and they would have rehearsals in the weekend. She had not paid any attention when Anoop had excitedly told them what the programme was about and frankly she didn’t care. All she heard was that it some sporting event and she was not interested in sports at all. She sat on a seat beside Mama and wistfully thought of the lazy lunch at the mall they would have had if only……… Still feeling gloomy, she saw small boys standing in neat rows on the stadium ground and she tried to figure out which of them was Anoop. Just then something else caught her attention. She saw that in one part of the ground, some foreigners were practicing running. “Oh, it’s an international athletic event!” she thought. For some reason she got up and went near where they were practising. As she saw them from up close, she froze. All their legs ended at the knee and below that they had some contraptions attached. And that was what they were using for running! Tears of pity welled in Anisha’s eyes but she noticed that the eyes of those who she pitied were far from sad. Instead of glum faces she saw genuinely cheerful, happy people laughing and joking. One athlete even looked at her and waved. The childish Anisha in … [Read more...]
Stress: Understand and manage it effectively
The severity of the signs and symptoms of the stress are exhibited in different ways depending upon the physical and the mental conditions of the individuals. The body reacts and responds to stress in three stages: 1. First stage or Alarm stage: During this stage, the body recognizes the cause of the stress and produces “the Adrenaline hormone” –the hormone of “Fight or Flight response”. For example, if you happened to come across a snake, either you go away from that place speedily or you kill it. 2. Second Stage o Resistance stage: If the stress still continues, our body becomes accustomed to it and tries to adjusts itself to the surroundings and the necessities of the situations. 3. Third stage or Stage of the End: In this stage, the body can’t withstand the effects of the stress, due to the dysfunction of the organs concerning the control of the stress mechanism and the body unable to discharge even its normal functions. The usual signs and symptoms exhibited by the excessive stress: • Problems with remembering abilities. • Lack of concentration power. • Often getting angry even for small events. • Inability to take correct decisions. • Finding only faults in all the matters. • Thoughts of anxiety and tensions. • Continuous suffering. • Lack of getting early relaxation. • Feeling loneliness. • Being in a state of depression or in a discomfort state. • Feeling nervousness and un-necessary excitement. • Not … [Read more...]
Formula for success
Every body wants a happy and successful career in life and nobody favors failure. Nobody denies it. The best formula for success-key is “Trying with dedication”. Henry Murre, the famous person recognized it 60 years back and named it “Achievement-Motivation” which is the necessary inspiration for achieving success. In this formula for success, Three things are important. • there is no room for despair • overcome the obstacles with “will-power” • Having enthusiasm for providing inspiration. Always keep it in your mind always that “Fear suppresses the capability”. But the persons having the “Ach-mot” use their capabilities to their full capacity and overcome the fear easily. Be always optimistic and take the responsibilities personally (not depending on others) and also be responsible your -self for the ensuing results, coming out of your own actions. If you show dedication in your work and can take decisions independently, automatically, it becomes a habit for you to do your work or duty efficiently and with full satisfaction. The golden word is: “Where there is a will – there is a way”. … [Read more...]
Whither the sporting spirit?
The Randiv-Sehwag incident has become quite a controversy. Sri Lankan bowler Suraj Randiv bowled a no-ball to Virender Sehwag when one run was needed to win. This resulted in a six but robbed Viru who was batting at 99, of his century. Prima facie, Randiv’s act does seem intentional, but let us not pass judgement on that. What this incident reminds us is that winning is not only important, it has become the only thing that matters; and if you are losing you need to make sure that your opponent is at least robbed of his glory. The actions of sportspersons, sports lovers, sports bodies and even governments of countries have proved time and again that winning is vital, and it is not necessary that one plays in a straightforward manner. They say, “If winning is not everything why do we keep score?” Of course one plays to win, but winning by breaking the rules, or more cleverly, winning by bending the rules without actually breaking them is just not done. What is important is “not that you won or lost but how you played the game”. The Sri Lanka incident reminds one of the 1981 incident when Greg Chappell instructed his brother Trevor to bowl under-arm for the last ball in a match against New Zealand to prevent a six. This kind of bowling was within the laws of the game but considered to be unsportsmanlike. The rules have changed since. Maradona’s ‘Hand of God’ is part of folklore. In the 1986 FIFA World Cup, Maradona hit a goal against the United Kingdom which he first said was partly ‘Hand of God’ but later conceded that it was deliberately hit with his hand. This goal should not have been condoned. Argentina went on to win the cup that year. Why is that ‘win’ so important? Is … [Read more...]
‘Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam’
“Charity begins at home but should not end there.” – Sir Francis Bacon. In early August, 40 billionaires in the US led by Warren Buffett and Bill Gates made a pledge – to give away at least half of their wealth to worthy causes. Buffett and Gates also plan to approach the super-rich in India and China and exhort them to do the same. The majority of the rich of course leave the bulk of their riches to their children. Whether kingdoms, wealth, businesses, the beneficiaries are children most of the time. It is high time this changed; and no, we don’t need the millionaires and billionaires donating to religious causes, considering that a large number of our countrymen need assistance to even satisfy their basic necessities, require education and jobs. This habit of refraining from passing on every pie one has made to one’s offspring does have multiple benefits. The billionaire will have so much money, much more than what his children would require to lead a comfortable life. The bulk of the money can therefore be used for meaningful purposes. After all, the Hitopadesha says “Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam” or “The entire Earth is but one family”. Moneyed men can work for the betterment of people beyond their immediate family, people who desperately need all the help they can get. Though it may seem that this super-rich man is robbing his children of their rightful inheritance by donating most of his wealth for philanthropic purposes, he is actually going them a favour. How ? One often sees and hears about people whose downfall has been caused by too much wealth; imagine the consequences if one is squandering away the hard-earned wealth of one’s parents! Confident that … [Read more...]
Sensitivity – a forgotten trait
I pick up the newspaper on the doorstep still half asleep and the headlines of a woman’s murder in the city stare back at me. A few days later, I read that her husband, an HR manager with a renowned software company has confessed his guilt to the police. Maybe a week later, I read about a number of beggars dying overnight in a beggars’ colony run by the government and the authorities make the dubious claim that all those deaths were natural. A couple of days later, heavy rains lash the city and as I flip television channels, a local channel is reporting that the torrential rains have claimed the life of an auto driver. They even zoom the shot to show the dangling hand of the deceased driver. I soon realise that they have shown the macabre visual thrice and that I am still watching it. I switch off the TV set, ashamed at myself and disgusted with the channel. These three incidents are not connected in any manner, but continue to bother me. Some more thinking and I conclude - people in the government, media and the populace which includes you and me have become insensitive. We are no longer receptive to the pains, sorrows, troubles and tragedies of others. All we are sensitive to now is our own feelings. In the case of the murder, if the husband is indeed the culprit, it is terribly shocking. How can a husband cold-bloodedly plan to kill his wife of three years? Can such a brutal act be justified even if there was any provocation? Can any reason be good enough for snuffing out a life in cold blood ? Psychologists blame stress, work pressures et al for crimes like this one, but of what use is pinpointing the cause when we can’t come up with a reasonable solution? The reactions to … [Read more...]
Laziness – a disease?
Yawn....I have got to do this. So with great difficulty, I have dragged my feet to my desk, listlessly hunted for paper and pen to write down my thoughts on ....ummm....laziness. I am taking the trouble to write on 'laziness' because I believe that a lazy person is the most competent one to write on the topic. Well, here goes... “Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.” – Jules Renard As I start writing, I who had begun with a half-reclining position am now sitting straight, my writing has become more brisk, my words more legible, and thoughts are running even ahead of my writing. So I have learnt something even before finishing penning down my thoughts - When you feel you are a bundle of lazy bones, push yourself somehow to start the work at hand. The interest, mood and energy to do it will pick up in the course of the work. The reason for 'laziness' is to pop up as a subject? A team of doctors of Imperial College and University College, both in London want to classify 'physical inactivity' as a disease. When I read this, I panicked for a moment. It is bad enough that I am lazy, now I may have to bear the stigma of being diseased! Jokes apart, I feel that the doctors are right in their demand. They have put forth that obesity has already been classified as a disease by the World Health Organisation. And obesity is partially the result of laziness, laziness to exercise. "Money is pumped at treating the symptoms of physical inactivity - at obesity, diabetes, hypertension, heart disease - but not at the root cause," is what the British doctor Richard Weiler has to say. We all exhibit some signs of sloth everyday- laziness to walk, work, exercise, … [Read more...]
Smiles and Laughter-Magic Potions
“Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.” – Lord Byron. I have some vague memories of childhood when I was asked not to show my teeth while smiling and not to laugh out loud (remember, you are a girl!). The stubborn streak in me ensured that I continued to do things my way. But I did and still continue to wonder why people feel that smiling or laughing wholeheartedly is not the done thing. Why should one try to restrict one’s smile or try to soften one’s laughter? Were we – Indians, I mean – always like this or did we adopt the “stiff upper lip” attitude of our erstwhile rulers, the British? Laughter is considered the best medicine – preventive as well as curative. Smiling relaxes our facial muscles. When we are happy and laugh, “feel good chemicals” like endorphins and serotonin are released .That is the reason a bout of laughter improves our mood considerably. Just like exercise, laughter is supposedly very beneficial for the heart and we should consciously look for reasons to laugh at just like we try to exert ourselves physically to stay healthy. People even form laughter clubs where they assemble in a park or some such place and laugh their hearts out. Today, there is laughter therapy, laughter yoga, laughter meditation which indicates that people are getting increasingly aware of the advantages of a good laugh. Laughing at a funny incident is all right, so is laughing at oneself – when one can have a ‘no holds barred’ laugh. Where one has to draw the line is when one is laughing at another, making somebody a butt of your jokes. The person may be somebody close to you, you may think that the person will not mind but we have to remember that everybody is … [Read more...]
Friendship – A beautiful bond
It was the United States which started the tradition of ‘Friendship Day’ in 1935. The first Sunday of August every year was assigned to friendship. Other countries too followed suit and in India, we usually see school kids and college students happily celebrating this day. Friendship bands are a rage in India and even school kids sit patiently with skeins of wool of different hues, patiently weaving bands of friendship. The ones who have a large number of bands tied to their wrists strut about, proud to have so many friends. Well, let us leave the ritual aside and move on to that beautiful bond called friendship. One’s tryst with friendship starts usually at school in fact as early as the nursery classes. Like first love, the first friend is also remembered long after the friendship has run its course. “A friend in need is a friend indeed,” is perhaps the most clichéd quote on friendship and also perhaps the most accurate. Friendships are not just about having a gala time. When all is well, all your friends are there for you. The litmus test starts when you start going through bad times. The ‘fair-weather’ friends flee when conditions turns inclement. The “all-weather” types are your true pals. They may be unable to help you in the material sense but they are there to offer moral and emotional support. A wealthy person loses his wealth, a business man runs a loss, a star student loses out on his grades, an employee loses his job – these are the occasions when many friends start deserting you. Even we may belong to this breed of friends, deserters in need. We expect the world from our buddies, but when our turn comes, we are reluctant to even be there for them. Moving on … [Read more...]
Individual space in a marriage
…..and they lived happily ever after. This is how all fairy tales end where the prince and the princess after various trials and tribulations, finally marry and ‘live happily ever after’. In childhood, we are enamoured with these stories and this desire for ‘happy endings’ continues in adulthood. But why are these ‘happy endings’ prevalent in fairy tales, not so common in real life? Men and women, when searching for their life partners, often search for people with common interests, belonging to a similar profession and from a similar background. They feel that their shared interests will serve as a strong foundation for their marriage. The assumption is that ‘understanding’ and ‘adjustment’, key words to make a marriage work, would become easier with commonalities. They want to work together, relax together; they want as much togetherness as possible. Does this always work? Not necessarily. Said Kahlil Gibran: “Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God But let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love.” Togetherness is important, agreed, but not at the cost of individual growth. Both the people in the relationship will have their own personalities. Excessive togetherness may hamper the development of the person. There will be activities which each of them enjoys doing on their own. Too much of ‘being together’ can be stifling. In fact for the marriage to thrive, what is more important is that the two people who comprise it should be happy and contented. This togetherness, where one can’t live without the other may seem very romantic in the first flush of love. … [Read more...]
Recent Comments